Reunification

Many families experiencing the ending of a marriage or long-term relationship do quite well explaining it to the kids and helping them make the transition into their new life – which usually includes going back and forth between each parent’s home and a whole host of other life changes. Some families, however, have a much harder time of it; anger and resentments between the former partners spill over into the lives of the children and cause a skewing of the relationship toward one parent or the other. Sometimes this goes so far as to fit the criteria of “parental alienation,” which has been shown to be tremendously damaging to children. Most cases don’t go this far, thankfully, but situations where children align much more strongly with one parent than the other can cause serious emotional challenges for children. When the imbalance is too great, the family may benefit from help with reunification.

Interested in this option? Follow the links below for more information about reunification.

• The reunification process >
• Is it “parental alienation”? >
• How to address “parental alienation” >

“Two therapist model” v. “One therapist model”? Retainer v. no retainer? How does this all work?

The ins and outs of reunification therapy can be pretty complicated! Here are some points to know:

This type of therapy is different than other forms of therapy – it’s typically court-ordered or directed by a Parenting Consultant (PC), and those required to participate often have conflicting agendas. As a result, it requires a more directive and problem-solving type of approach to therapy than what people might expect.

Some therapists providing reunification services use a “two person model” – which simply means that one therapist works with the parents and one therapist works with the child. I use a “one person model” – which means that I meet with the parents and I work with the child. This doesn’t mean the child can’t continue to work with a therapist already in place – in fact, I find it really helpful if the child has another source of support separate from the family therapy I provide. I will meet with each co-parent individually, each child individually, a child and parent together, the co-parents together, etc. – whichever combination I feel the individuals are ready for and will move our work forward toward the goal of repairing the family relationships.

Some providers ask for a retainer in order to cover the work at the start of therapy to collect and review documents, contact collaterals (others involved with the family such as PCs, other therapists, guardian ad litems, etc.), and cover the cost of other tasks that are done outside of sessions. This is very similar to how PCs charge as well. I do not ask for a retainer. Instead, my hourly fee includes most of the costs of those calls, review of documents, etc. The only exceptions are when the documents to be reviewed are substantial, if I am asked to prepare a therapy summary for use in court, etc. This is all explained in detail at the outset of therapy.

Curious about my training in working with parent-child contact problems and reunification therapy? Click here and go to the “Training” tab for a list of professional education and training I’ve received over the years. I love learning and continue to pursue opportunities to deepen my knowledge and understanding of family conflict and the healing of relationships.